Category: Service

Telkom can get f-ed in the A.

Hi

I had my wallet stolen a few days ago and therefore don’t have a credit card to make payments for additional bandwidth… I thought I would be able to sign up for internet banking and make the payment that way however after going through the online registration process I am now unable to make any payments without visiting my bank and getting my daily limits increased. (Yes, as retarded as it seems the daily limit on a new account is R0).

Having said all that I have a girlfriend at home trying to do research for her PHD and unable to get online. Could you PLEASE make an exception and enable the additional gig. Feel free to bill my account via stop order for the amount or alternatively I’ll make the payment as soon as I can get to my nearest branch.

Regards

Jonathan Endersby

And less than 10 minutes later:

Jonathan,

Done.

Now seriously, can you EVER imagine that happening with Telkom?

Viva Amobia, Viva!

ath

How I learnt to love myself and stop supporting Telkom

My friend Vhata says I must not moan in my blog so I’ve decided to try and make this post as positive as I humanly possible. However, let me start by saying that Telkom is a filthy disease ridden whore.
roadlit

I could go and explain why I feel this way but honestly I can feel myself getting angry just trying to think of where to start… The important bit is this: I refuse to continue to support Telkom.

Until recently there really wasn’t much of an option when it came to broadband in South Africa. Telkom’s ADSL was the “best” solution, but like I said earlier, Telkom is a dirty whore…

Since Telkom owns all last mile copper the only other option is wireless. Traditionally the wireless market in SA was run illegally by unlicensed operators until a few got licences and the incompetent dogshow that ensued caused everyone, myself included, to decide that wireless was not a feasible solution (yet).

Enter, stage right, Amobia: a wireless communications company partnering with Frogfoot, a company I already have immense respect for.

Besides the pedigree that Amobia inherits from its Frogfoot connections, it’s also a company that is making a marked difference to the lives of the South Africans where it means the most… They’re connecting under-privileged schools; initially for internal communication, Open Source downloads and email, but ultimately to the Internet. They’ve done 35 and are on their way to 100. Not bad for a company a fraction of a fraction of the size of Telkom.

I’ve watched Amobia from afar for a while and two days ago, in the midst of another glorious Telkom blunder that left me discovering that Telkom’s systems really are a mystery even to themselves, I decided to jump ship and order an Amobia connection. Yesterday (the very next day) I had a technician in my house making sure that I would be able to connect properly and I expect to complete the paperwork tomorrow. It costs less per than Telkom’s ADSL and I know that Amobia doesn’t oversell their bandwidth so I should have a flawless, connected future, sans pigs, rats and filthy whores.

I’ll keep you posted.

Why some people just dont "get" the "Internet"…

(Alternative Title: When not to call someone a racist)

I am increasingly amazed at the interweb. People seem to not realise that the world is rapidly becoming more and more online to the extent that it’s probably likely that no matter who you are, your name, or your bussiness’ name is being Googled on a daily basis. Which brings me to the guy who called me a racist.

A while back a few of us went to a restaurant called Nonna Lina‘s for lunch. The entire event sucked. The food was bad, the service was bad and the owner/manager overcharged us. I was so appauled I wrote a very strongly worded email to the restaurant and BCC’d a bunch of my friends.

Now a little bit about expectations… What did I expect from them? We’ll, to be honest I expected a reply… maybe even a sorry. I would have been very impressed if they had said something like “Hey, sorry you had a crap experience, won’t you come and have lunch on us and see if we can make things right.”

Alas there was nothing… not even a nasty reply. (Actually their first email address bounced so I had to find another which didn’t bounce, so I know they got it)

So obviously they didn’t care… My little email and my 50 friends didn’t count. Then, a few weeks later, I posted the email on my blog.

So now I am the 3rd result in Google for Nonna Lina.

A month goes by and a few days ago I get an email alerting me to a new comment on the story. It’s from the owner. I assume he Googled his restaurant’s name and got a little fright… but not enough of a fright to apologize… instead he writes a badly constructed list of excuses, demeaning my own ability to discern good food from bad food. Insists that their shocking food is true Italian Fare… the fact that 11 people found their food disgusting must mean that I run in very plebby social circles.

Then he strangely tells me that I should talk more… weird… I think what he’s trying to say is that we should have spoken to him then instead of writing about it on the internet… except, he forgets, we tried to talk to him but he wouldn’t listen and instead walked outside and started smoking.

Then, as if all of this wasn’t enough, he calls me a racist because I said that his waiter’s English was bad and we struggled to communicate with him. I must point out that his email had shocking English too. So now I’m a racist who doesn’t like Italian people… I must tell that to my Italian friends. Also, I’m constantly ripping off my girlfriend about her funny colloquialisms. Dammit, I must be a racist.

Actually, it had never occurred to me that his waiter was black until he brought it up.

Do not eat at Nonna Lina

To anyone reading this for the first time: Please note that this post dates back a long time and for some reason is repeatedly proving rather popular. I get a lot of emails and comments about this post, mostly positive and some negative. If you have a valid comment then by all means post it, but if all you’re going to do is tell me that I’m a dick for complaining, then I suggest you don’t waste your time… Also, read my blog, You might find that I’m actually quite a nice guy. The gist of this entire saga is that we had shocking service and Nonna Lina has repeatedly, for almost two years now, refused to simply say sorry, but instead resorted to excuses and insults.

Also, read this semi-update to the story.

(This is a classic Arbitraryuser in the form of an email I sent that dates back to November 17th 2006.)

Today at 1pm a group of us, 11 in total, decided to have lunch at Nonna Lina… This was because they are currently punting their “Special”…

Their offer was one of the meals on their “special menu” and either a soft drink or a beer. The prices, R39 and R45 respectively.

Here is a list of why you should never ever eat at Nonna Lina:

What pizza is meant to look like
Not Nonna Lina Pizza
  • A few of us ordered the “Salami” pizza. It was crusty, oily and they use cheap cheddar cheese. But, the cherry (ha ha) on the top was the absolutely atrocious amount of “salami” on the pizza. We counted; There were 3 slices of the thinnest, smallest, cheapest, nastiest salami, cut into quarters and spread over the pizza. AND THAT WAS ALL. Just nasty cheese and 3 pieces of nasty salami.
  • The service was terrible. EVEN THOUGH WE HAD PRE-ORDERED OUR MEALS the last meal was placed on the table about 20 minutes after the first.
  • One of the meals was wrong, but fearing another wasted half hour someone took one for the team.
  • They sell pasta and pizza… but the dont have Tabasco Sauce… We know they’re trying to be cheap, but come on! Maybe just buy the generic stuff.
  • The waiter struggled to bring the drinks to the table and needed to get reminded constantly. There were only 2 other tables so being “busy” is not an excuse.
  • The beer was warm.
  • Besides being generally bad, the waiter also struggled with english, which will probably explain the next 2 points perfectly.
  • Then came the killer… When the bill arrived it was more than expected… There were two meals we didn’t even have and even though we had only seen their “special menu” apparently one of us ordered a meal off the main menu.
  • Then the real kicker. The Savanah and Castle didn’t count as alcholic beverages… And the Appletizer wasn’t a “Soft Drink” so the unlucky souls (me included) had to fork out R45 for a shitty pizza and an extra R15 for our drinks.
  • No mess up on this scale would be complete without the owner/manager fighting with us about the bill and eventually deciding that it was time to light up a smoke while we were still arguing with him… Eventually we paid up and left, never to return again.

So by my count, Nonna Lina owes me a beer… and you know what, they can shove it… Keep it for a rainy day when all their customers have finally decided that the R8 Boerewors roll outside the Spar on Kloof Street is a better option. More appetising, more tasty and served with a hell of a lot more class than Nonna Lina could dream of — A paper serviette and your choice of 5 sauces in recycled plastic bottles.

Regards
Jonathan

ps. Feel free to pass this on to anyone you think might make the mistake of going there.

    Update: Nonna Lina never replied to my emails… I think that speaks volumes.

    Update 2 [29 Jan 2007]: I finally got a response via this site from the guy who owns the place. Amongst a bevy of poorly constructed excuses he called me a racist for bringing up the fact that his waiter didn’t have a very solid grasp of English. Ummm ok. Add that to the list of reasons why not to eat there.