My girlfriend and I have been noticing the ridiculous amount of utter valentines garbage that is being punted by the various retail chains… PnP, Clicks and yes, even you Woolworths!
Last night we were debating what the most hideous valentines gifts would be. I think we may have them.
For Her: Worlds Greatest Lover Trophy
Stylishly injection molded from recycled toilet seats, with a faux wooden finish sticker around the base, this trophy screams “I love you this much”. It’s also larger than you think. It must be able to hold a litre of beer. Perhaps that should be the serving suggestion. On second thoughts, perhaps “You’re my number one” would be more tacky?
For Him: Homemade Droewors Necklace
Nothing says I love you more than small pieces of dried flesh and congealed fat tastefully threaded together with a rusty needle you borrowed from your mom. To add that special something we suggest threading a “sweety pie”, foil and all, in the middle so as to create a stylish centerpiece of love.
I am so tempted to make one of these.
love
j.
arbitraryuser 